Best Quotes of 2010, Pt. 2

July

I had only one requirement for the show—that Sir Paul play his theme from James Bond's answer to blaxploitation films. It was the second to last song of the main set, and the performance did not disappoint, complete with pyrotechnics that surely decimated every eyebrow in the first ten rows. Ten Things... We Noticed at the Paul McCartney Concert // 7.14.10

For the unenlightened, Harker Stew is an ill-advised conglomeration, an unnatural hodge-podge of every type of stew, homemade or otherwise, that a Harker might think to contribute, mixed into one luscious pot of beefy goodness. The Harker Reunion // 7.18.10

Even after all those public service announcements, we let Smokey the Bear down, and that's really all the punishment a young boy needs. Only You Can Cause Forest Fires // 7.28.10


August

The last time I took a swig of Sunny D it burned my throat as it went down, and I finally understood why my dad always used to call it "battery acid." You Are What You Eat // 8.17.10

As any student of cinematic redneck miltary clichés would know, heavy-handed treehuggery must be unflinchingly fought with tried and true "shoot first, shoot some more later, all while holding your breath" tactics. One-Dimensional Movie Villains: Second Class // 8.19.10

The boys are getting restless. If we wait much longer someone is going to start carving a sharp point on the end of a stick. A Night in the Life of a Cub Committee Chairman // 8.25.10

September

Over the last 8 months I have applied for dozens of positions, been a finalist for a few of them, and even briefly considered moving to St. Louis. But my search has finally come to an end. I'm going to take my talents to Stampin' Up and join their catalog team. The Job Hunt // 9.07.10


Of course, there is a small risk of some residual weirdness between siblings when they discover they were named after star-crossed vampire lovers. Name That Baby // 9.13.10



The year was 1988. Guns N' Roses and Rick Astley ruled the airwaves. George Bush Sr. was on his way to the White House. The Wonder Years premiered on ABC, popularizing voice-over narration that whimsically put things in context. The Great Sports Awakening of '88 // 9.18.10

October

I am probably jinxing Morsel to be bald for the first two years of her life, but I feel it's worth the risk. Feeling Crafty // 10.04.10

In working for a bigger company, I am sharing a public bathroom for the first time since I had a student job working in Old Main. Let's just say I have some personal issues with this, particularly when I hear a symphony of sounds emanating from the stall next to me. New Job-servations // 10.08.10


I borrowed the gold velour track suit from a coworker to complete my ensemble. It was almost scary how well it fit me. Tricks and Treats // 10.31.10


November

When the Héréns breed of cows in the Swiss canton of Valais are released from their barns each spring, they lock blunted horns "without provocation" to establish the hierarchy within the herd. And the Swiss spectators that congregate on the mountainside are kind enough to bring along some cans of spray paint. Cows are very poor record-keepers after all. More Cowbell // 11.10.10

In the most lopsided fight of the century, the meat absolutely destroys the overmatched hoagie roll. But the real victor is the happy patron—stuffed silly, but with enough leftovers to get you through next week. Sandwiches Unlimited // 11.19.10

Thanks to my amazing foresight, the cover coordinates with the canopy (which, coincidentally, coordinates with the wipe case). Feeling Crafty, Pt. 2 // 11.29.10

December

Something can't be "world famous" if you've never heard of it. (i.e. the world famous Pillow Talk Motel in Wellington, UT). Ten Things... I Have Learned Through a Life of Consumerism // 12.02.10

Kristen grumbled something under her breath about Eddie falling in [the water] while Daddy was busy taking pictures. "But what a memorable picture it would be!" I said, dodging an icy look. O Rainy Night // 12.12.10

When [Kristen's] potato sacks are in the wash, she is forced to wear my warmup pants instead (which she has dubbed "jazz pants" because of the shiny material they are made out of). Are we the only couple that gives each others' pants nicknames? Last Minute Gift Ideas // 12.21.10