Hot Pockets
I'm not proud of it, but I used to frequently pack Hot Pockets in my lunch. My bowels are grumbling even now as I recall my old standby flavors, Pepperoni Pizza and Jalapeño Steak & Cheese. My turning point came one fateful night a few years ago when some friends showed us Jim Gaffigan's Beyond the Pale comedy special. After witnessing his routine about this frozen tour de force of processed flavors, I haven't touched them since.
Sunny D
You know how it is, you're thirsty after playing flag football with your pals, so you come home and reach into the fridge. Let's see, there's OJ, soda, um, purple stuff? No way, Sunny D's the only thing that can quench your thirst! Yessiree, I drank the "orange stuff" all through college, but the last time I took a swig of Sunny D it burned my throat as it went down, and I finally understood why my dad always used to call it "battery acid." I'm going to go out on a limb and include similar "fruit" drinks like Tampico, Kool Aid, and Belly Washers in this category.
Subway
Kristen and I used to eat at Subway all the time, but as we got more into discovering all the best local sandwich shops, our Subway attendance started to plummet. Finally, in what turned out to be the last time I "ate fresh," I had an epiphany—every Subway sandwich tastes exactly the same. It makes no difference what color the meat is, or what variety of cheese and toppings you get. Everything just tastes like Subway. Call it elitism or snobbery if you must, but life is too short to eat the same mediocre sandwich over and over again.
Candwich
For my final entry, instead of telling you about something I no longer eat, I thought I would share something I would never eat in a million years. Yes, I'm talking about the Candwich. Because life is also too short to eat a sandwich out of a can... EVER.
8 comments:
Alright you had me at Hot Pocket, I use to eat one every time I worked at Kmart. Now I look back and wonder "why?", must be the age or something. I think after seeing that I won't be buying them anytime soon. Thanks :)
Dave it has nothing to do with you getting older, it has everything to do with you being a food snob now. No shame in that.
Ben, if it has nothing to do with getting older, you must still be enjoying your chili cheese fritos & pink lemonade lunches even at age 31.
So true, so true. I think of other places we used to eat in college that I would never think of going now.. Village Inn, anyone?
You are so right on about every subway sandwich tasting exactly the same. Even the meatball tastes like the tuna.
Gaffigan rules! He is the greatest living comedian alive. You have seen his bit on bacon, haven't you?
How about Totino's Pizza?
i LOVE you know about the canwich!! I wouldn't expect any less from you. :) My mom keeps telling me I need to watch the jim hot pocket clip. Thanks for posting it
Speaking of Sunny D...
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