Best Quotes of 2010, Pt. 1

To wrap up 2010, I have collected some of the most memorable lines from our favorite posts, which forms a narrative of our year.

January

I would be dumb not to leave my diet plans in the hands of the restaurant that created "Fourthmeal" (that's the meal between dinner and breakfast) and offers tantalizing menu items like the Beefy 5-Layer Burrito. The Drive-Thru Diet // 1.07.10

If the [A-Team] movie doesn't feature countless rounds of ammunition being fired without anyone actually getting shot, or at least one scene where the bad guys roll their car half a dozen times only to climb out totally unscathed, I will be very disappointed. 2010 Coming Attractions // 1.19.10

When I started the odyssey that is Junior High, I was in for a few surprises. One being that I was now being forced to shower after gym class, but another was soda machines at school... and they were stocked with Crystal Pepsi! Catching Some Waves // 1.22.10

February

Time to celebrate, C-3PO. Your "realistic metalized body" is free from its plastic prison. Free C-3PO // 2.04.10

Since my Dad seemingly only liked the Beach Boys, and the edgiest thing in my Mom's record collection was the Ray Conniff Singers, some of the Piano Man's saltier lyrical passages like "the microphone smells like a beer" were met with parental opposition. Albums I Grew Up On: Road Trippin' // 2.11.10

Q: Is there really a difference between pairs figure skating and ice dancing? A: Pairs figure skating involves more pumping up the jam. Olympic Answers // 2.28.10

March

Memo to owners of old timey theaters still in use—please only show cool movies. My work is unavoidably sullied when tripe like "Tooth Fairy" is emblazoned on the marquee. Friendly Fillmore // 3.07.10

A woman gets a little crazy where her maternal instincts are concerned. Just ask Dave. Krissy's Life in Film, Pt. 1 // 3.15.10

Since this isn't officially licensed merchandise, the trick has been to make them sexy, but not so sexy that we infringe copyright. Sexy Vampire Candles // 3.17.10


April

This spinning whatchamacallit appears to be a close relative of last year's infamous leg swinging thingamajig. Spin City // 4.11.10

Today I am taking a look at two diametrically opposing albums from my past which represent a conflict as old as the dawn of man. Brawn vs. brains. Jock vs. nerd. Cool hair vs. big glasses. Actually, forget I mentioned hair. Albums I Grew Up On: Butt Rock vs. Geek Rock // 4.15.10

Who wouldn't want a life of excitement and adventure, outsmarting genetically engineered dinosaurs in an amusement park gone wrong? Krissy's Life in Film, Pt. 2 // 4.25.10

May

It's never good to be the fifth man stuffed into a two man truck cab, especially when the other four are Tongans. Ten Things... I Learned From Bailey's Moving & Storage // 5.07.10

What better way to conclude this series than with Mini Elvis cutting in on a Stormtrooper's would be street corner photo-ops? What Happened in Vegas, Pt. 2 // 5.25.10

Yes, unfortunately [Pizzeria 712] is in Orem. But since readers of a Utah County newspaper once voted Panda Express best Chinese food in the valley, perhaps they need to experience a higher standard of dining. We Heart More Pizza // 5.26.10

June

I remember endlessly extolling the virtues of Hootie to my seemingly oblivious classmates in 9th grade geometry. Albums I Grew Up On: '90s Jangle Pop // 6.07.10

McFly knocks Biff out cold in the past, thus rendering him a fruity, track suit-wearing auto detailer in the present. The One-Dimensional Movie Villain Hall of Fame // 6.14.10


With the help of peeonastick.com, I learned that the faintness of the line is not important as long as the color matches. A Tasty Morsel // 6.16.10