Olympic Answers

Last week I did a post about questions I had been asking myself while watching the Olympics. As the Vancouver games draw to a close, you'll be happy to know I found answers to some of them.

Q: Will making jokes about curling ever get old?
A: Yes. Curling jokes immediately became tired and stale when Jay Leno attempted to lampoon the sport in a promo for his return to the Tonight Show next week.

Q: Is there really a difference between pairs figure skating and ice dancing?
A: Pairs figure skating involves more pumping up the jam.



Q: Who invited Jeff Bridges to be in the "We Are The World" remake?
A: I still don't know, but I wish he would have gone Obadiah nuts at the end of the song. "This sounds like it was recorded in a cave... with a box of scraps!"

Q: Does Bob Costas age?
A: The answer became clear when I did this side-by-side comparison.


Q: Aren't the snowboard events just an excuse for Team USA to win more medals?
A: Not if Lindsay Jacobellis is involved.

Q: Is it less heterosexual to be a male figure skater, or to be a male who watches figure skating?
A: I'd take either of these options over two man luge.


Q: If I eat my McNuggets and drink my Coca-Cola, can I become an Olympian too?
A: When I do, I hope Morgan Freeman will provide narration:

"I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only an Olympian can feel, an athlete at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can do my best and win the gold. I hope I can make my country proud. I hope this Coke washes away the aftertaste of these McNuggets. I hope."

So long, Olympics. See you in London in 2012.