12.01.2009

THIS Is It

I hadn't planned on compiling a follow-up to my THIS TV tribute, but after another memorable month of programming, I couldn't resist. Octopus men! Magical spheres to freedom! Zombies for Hitler! Chuck Norris! THIS is it! (As before, we haven't modified these synopses in any way.)

Futureworld
Peter Fonda, Blythe Danner (1976) Reporters discover that the director of an exclusive theme park plans to replace world leaders with sophisticated robots.

Octaman
Kerwin Mathews, Pier Angeli (1971) Explorers run into an upright octopus-man in Mexico.

Revenge of the Zombies
John Carradine, Veda Ann Borg (1943) A mad bayou doctor makes zombies for Hitler after practicing on his wife.

Lone Wolf McQuade
Chuck Norris, David Carradine (1983) A Texas Ranger helps the FBI stop a black-marketeer who deals in Army bazookas, grenades and tanks.

Driving Me Crazy
Thomas Gottschalk, Billy Dee Williams (1991) Crooks in Los Angeles steal an East German inventor's modified two-stroke car fueled by turnip juice.

Jaws of Satan
Fritz Weaver, Gretchen Corbett (1979) A herpetologist, a priest and a local doctor fight the devil, who is disguised as a cobra.

Solarbabies
Jami Gertz, Lukas Haas (1986) Orphan roller skaters follow a magical sphere to freedom from fascist police of the future.

The Heavenly Kid
Lewis Smith, Jason Gedrick (1985) A teen angel from the '60s comes down to Earth in the '80s to show a loser how to be cool.

Daughters of Satan
Tom Selleck, Barra Grant (1972) An American in the Philippines buys a painting of three burning witches, one of whom resembles his wife.

Little Monsters
Howie Mandel, Fred Savage (1989) A nice monster called Maurice lures a boy through the floor, into an underworld of prankish goons.

A Breed Apart
Rutger Hauer, Kathleen Turner (1984) A conservationist and a widow meet a mountain climber hired to steal bald-eagle eggs.

Nobody's Perfect
Chad Lowe, Gail O'Grady (1990) Shy Stephen dons a wig and makeup and becomes Stephanie, his prep-school girlfriend's new roommate.

3 comments:

Ben said...

I'll have you know I used to watch Little Monsters all the time growing up (it was Monsters, Inc before Monsters, Inc.)

That said, I hate this channel. Babes in Toyland was on yesterday, featuring Drew Barrymore and Keanu Reeves. Whoa.

Dave said...

If you take a closer look at the posters, some of these movies have great taglines. Futureworld has a doozy: "Is this you... or are YOU you?" And my personal favorite: "Chuck Norris is Lone Wolf McQuade. David Carradine is the man that got in his way." That's gold!

Kristina Carter said...

Wow, I thought I was the only one who had seen Lone Wolf McQuade, haha.

-Cam