Krissy's Crude Cross-Stitchery

A few years ago, when I asked my brother Jason what he wanted for Christmas, he answered (with surprisingly little hesitation) that he wanted a sign to put by the front door of his apartment that said "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya." He may or may not have been joking, but since that was the only idea he gave us, I decided to take him up on it.

Dave and I put our heads together to make the most awfully awesome sign we could. Cross stitching seemed the natural way to go. I did the type in old english, and we picked out a horrendous gold frame. Dave even came up with a custom illustration.

Jason loved the sign so much that when he bought a house recently he requested another one. This time he wanted a sign that said "Watch where you're going" to go (where else?) over the toilet. Dave didn't do an illustration this time (I'm sure you can understand why), but he did provide a "splashy" flourish.

I think this could turn into a lucrative side business. Send in your requests and I'll see what I can do.


Kristina Carter said...

almost peed my pants laughing

Dave said...

You think I would know since I illustrated it, but I can't help but wonder what the story is of the anonymous visitor who shows up to a house with no pants on, then lets the door hit him on the way out.

qandlequeen said...


We were sitting in a friend's brand new house, playing cards at the dining room table when one of the husbands was admonished for farting. It only made sense that I craft a table runner with "No farting in the formal dining room"

Jess said...

Can I get just an illustration that shows someone with Sunny D coming out their nose?