All I Want For Christmas

For those of you who may be searching for last-minute gifts for yours truly, here are a few ideas. I have somehow managed to live without the following items up to this point, but that will have to change now that I am aware of their existence.

1. Major Toht
12 Inch "Don't Call it a Doll" Collectible Figure

This very authentic looking collectible is gonna take your little sister's barbie out for a nice seafood dinner before heading back to his place for an evening of intimidation and torture. He comes with all the essential sinister accessories, including a hot poker and collapsible coat hanger, but his best feature has to be the alternate melting head.

2. Mac Mini
Vintage Nintendo Edition

This customized Mac Mini takes the minimalist beauty of Apple products and turns it into the drab clunkiness of the original Nintendo Entertainment System. That's gold! I wonder, do you have to tap, jiggle and blow on discs to get them to read properly? With some further modifications, maybe all navigating could be done with a power glove.

3. Mangroomer®
Do-It-Yourself Electric Back Hair Shaver

Hey, I'm a man, and don't we all need a little grooming from time to time? Now I can get at all those hard-to-reach spots, thanks to this revolutionary product. For those with deeper pockets, the Mangroomer® Private Body Shaver might also come in handy. According to the product description, it has been "created for all shaving needs below the neck."


Ben said...

Dave you forgot the Knight Rider GPS. With features including K.I.T.T. Indicator LED Display, and Turn-by-Turn Voice Guidance featuring the original voice of K.I.T.T., you can make driving the kids to soccer practice an "adventure of epic proportions."

robmba said...

According to Amazon, people who bought the man groomer also bought the DVDs Iron Man and Dark Knight.

How many of these did you buy, Dave, in order to influence the statistics that much?

Christie said...

Oh good. I'd been wondering what to get you..

Dave said...

I have an addition for my list: the American Gladiators Ultimate Workout DVD! Soon I'll be going shirtless all the time thanks to my new Mangroomer® and Gladiator-esque physique. Too bad this workout doesn't feature any of the original Gladiators, their bodies now ravaged by the ill-effects of all those steroids.

Krissy said...

All I have to say is this: SICK!