Apparently everyone else is tired of presidential campaigns too, as this was the lowest voter turnout in the history of the Dave & Kristen Show. So Bono's fashion sense and the names of our fish are vote worthy, but choosing the fake president is not? In the immortal words of Kent Brockman, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy just doesn't work." On with the results.

3. James Dale - 1 Vote
This just goes to show that even fake democrats can't get votes in Utah.

2. James Marshall - 6 votes
Pundits are speculating that Marshall's supposedly ironclad campaign began to lose some steam in the face of allegations that he murdered his wife. Come on people, everybody knows it was really the one-armed man.

1. Thomas J. Whitmore - 7 votes
I think I can safely say that the American people won't be subjected to any alien invasions on Whitmore's watch. Well, as long as Jeff Goldblum is appointed as his Secretary of Defense in the off chance it becomes necessary to crash superior alien technology with a virus uploaded from his Apple Powerbook. Did somebody say Deus ex machina?

Now it becomes your priviledge to watch Whitmore's inaugural address. Man is this guy one note or what?


Ben said...

What a horrible movie that ended up being...in retrospect, of course.

Dave said...

The final words of James Marshall's concession speech will forever echo in my mind: You find that man! (find that man...find that man...)

Caitlinp said...

You know, I would have voted, but I forgot to register!