Ten Things...

...That are Awesome About Gall Bladder Surgery/Hospitalization

This is to encourage all of you out there who haven't yet had your superfluous organs removed to take the plunge! It's really quite the pleasant experience.

10. Body odor and greasy hair being socially acceptable.

9. That stuff they put on your skin that turns it orange (because orange skin is in).

8. Tape that removes all your arm hair when you try to pull it off (free waxing services).

7. Having to call someone in to unhook all the machines every time you need to use the bathroom (which is a lot because they'll be pumping you full of fluid).

6. Having a machine help you breathe (since breathing is a waste of energy).

5. Not needing to chew your food (also a waste of energy).

4. Running out of veins for new IVs.

3. Having portions of your life completely gone from your memory (thanks to the anesthesia).

2. All the extra room your pancreas gets to float around in.

1. Dee, the obese southern nurse with no teeth calling you "honey child."


Dave said...

One you forgot to include: Dee, the obese southern nurse, singing your tired baby a charming lullaby about hunting wabbits.

(And in case any of you are wondering, no, it didn't help him go to sleep.)

Krissy said...

I may have left that off... but I figured one mention of Dee was more than enough. I also thought about including "Having Dee, the obese southern nurse with no teeth, looming over your bed when you suddenly awaken in the middle of the night." That was a close runner-up.

Caitlinp said...

That sounds like fun. A whole lot of fun that I didn't really experience since my deal was outpatient. But, I think the leg sqeezers are pretty cool. You know, the things that keep you from getting blood clots. They keep you warm, too.