The Airing of Grievances

What does this post boil down to? Stuff that annoys me. I invite everyone who reads this to do the same, either on your own blog or in the comments. I think you will find it quite therapeutic. In fact, I won't rule out future installments of my own either, as I do have a surplus of grievances.

1. Being asked if I am "saving room" for dessert
Why must all waiters and waitresses use this exact phrasing when posing the age-old dessert question? Are they given specific instructions concerning this matter during their crash course in playful banter? Just for once, I would like to simply be asked "would you like to order dessert?" to which I would respond, "oops, I forgot to save any room!"

2. Endless "got milk?" knock-offs
I am certain that some variation of this slogan has popped up in pretty much all brainstorming sessions, for everything from bumper stickers to student body campaigns, since the ubiquitous milk campaign premiered in 1993. got moab? got jesus? got originality? Decidedly not.

3. Anything that begins with "Tyler Perry's..."
Perhaps there is a segment of the population that bristles with excitement when they see ads for "Tyler Perry's House of Payne" or "Tyler Perry's Another Movie Featuring Me, Tyler Perry, In a Fat Suit." Of course, there is also a segment of the population that thinks mullets are the hippest thing since novelty ties.

4. Usage of the font Papyrus in any way, shape, or form
If I had the ability to ban one font from the face of the earth, it would be Papyrus. While Comic Sans is a close second in this race, it can't quite match the run of rampant overexposure and egregious misuse that Papyrus has experienced in recent years.

5. Excessive exclamations!!!
My dislike for this perky punctuation devolved into downright detestation during my time at Nutraceutical. You see, I would design the most beautiful ads for such fine supplements as "Doggiedophilus" and "Femamoist," only to be bombarded with notes from the marketing department like "Needs more excitement, please add 73 exclamation points!!! Also, please change font to Papyrus!!!"


Ben said...

Once again you've written a post that makes response near impossible, thanks to your skillful mastery of the English language. Your wit is recognized and lauded.

Dave said...

Or rather my mastery of the online thesaurus. How else do you think I managed to squeeze rampant and egregious into the same sentence?

Becky said...

First of all, you two are nerds. Second of all, it scares me how much you and Ben are alike. I feel like I've had the papyrus and exclamation point conversation with Ben a hundred times!!!

Dave said...

Sounds like someone needs to air some grievances!

Darin and Betsy said...

Oh kristen you are too funny! Your baby is so dang cute! Congrats on being a mom!

robmba said...

I would tend to rate Comic Sans higher on the bad fonts list than Papyrus, but hating Comic Sans is almost passé now, given the length of time it's been abused, whereas Papyrus seems to be an up and coming star of bad fonts. I googled "worst fonts" and found this list, which included both, in addition to a few others.

IMO, any font that is supposed to look like handwriting is just a bad idea. I may even rate the slew of handwriting fonts in aggregate as worse than Papyrus. I think Papyrus actually looks decent; it has just been overused (although I have never actually used it myself). No handwriting font looks nice, however.

As the typographers continue the font debate, I have posted a response to your call for the airing of grievances.