7.16.2008

The Airing of Grievances (Krissy-Style)

Since I like to be sassy, and this is the perfect opportunity, I am happy to accept Dave's invitation to share my grievances with the world. It was difficult to narrow this down to only five, so there could be a sequel at some point.

1. People who drive in front of me
Really, how difficult is it to move over into the turn lane (and I mean ALL THE WAY OVER)? How hard is it to go that extra 4 mph faster to match the speed limit? This is why I drive as little as possible. Of course, I get road rage just riding in a car.

2. Commercials that compel me to change the channel
How many times in one episode of Design on a Dime can they advertise Nutrisystem? Way too many. I don't care if Jillian Barbarie lost 400 pounds using it and can now fit into her favorite bikini. I still hate listening to her talk about it.

3. John McCain
Maybe it's his freakishly stumpy arms. Maybe it's his corpse-like face. Maybe it's the blatantly awkward way he attempts to appeal to a younger demographic. Whatever it is, it annoys me. He reminds me of the episode of The Simpsons when Kang and Kodos transform into Bill Clinton and Bob Dole. Am I implying that he could be an alien wearing an Edgar-suit? Yes, yes I am.

4. Jack Johnson
Can't you see, can't you see? Yes, I can see that I hate banana pancakes simply because Jack Johnson sings about them in that ridiculously mellow and emotionless voice. It makes me want to rip my eyes out. At least then my screams will drown out his music.

5. Shopping for pants
Last time I checked, the majority of women in this world fall somewhere between sizes 0 and 17. I suppose that is why those between sizes are always sold out by the time I get to the store. Occasionally I get lucky and find a reasonable size on the rack. I try them on, only to find that they are "Size 10 Tiny Butt" which means they don't fit my average-sized posterior. That also means I might have to start constructing my own pants using the plethora of plastic grocery bags under our sink.

5 comments:

Dave said...

So far only you and Rob have answered my call to action. Loyal readers, we are wait for your voice!

robmba said...

Maybe McCain should get a Romney wig.

Caitlinp said...

On the subject of pants and shopping for them: I suggest we all go pants-less, or maybe just go back to wearing only skirts. Can we please get some kind of consistency in sizing? Or is it normal to have a range of four sizes which may or may not fit on any given day? I think I need my own airing of grievances.

Krissy said...

Air those grievances, Caitlin! I look forward to them. And I'm surprised you didn't comment about Jack Johnson.

Team Ritz! said...

Oh, Kristen, you crack me up! Dave has already bugged me about airing OUR grievances, so we'll be posting those shortly. Maybe I'll start with "not having enough time to post just five of my grievances on my blog"...