Ulysses, We Hardly Knew Thee

March 18-22, 24-28, 2007

Ulysses Everett McGill Barton recently died of unknown causes for the second time in 11 days. McGill's surprising second death came only five days after already dying once and miraculously coming back to life. Clearly not a catfish, those two lives were all poor Ulysses had in him. Or maybe Dave and Kristen didn't want to deplete Petco's tiger barb supply any further.

With no apparent physical conditions attributing to his death, McGill's grieving parents have been forced to come up with psuedo-pyschological reasons to help cope with his untimely demise(s). Perhaps Ulysses couldn't deal with the enormous pressure of living up to the expectations of having a name chosen by nine people. Or perhaps he became depressed upon finding out he wasn't bona fide.

Ulysses is survived by his parents, Dave and Kristen, his brother Garth, and his yet-to-be born human brother Smidgen.


ScottBoomer said...

Your kid is screwed. You guys can't even keep fish alive for a month.

Dave said...

We haven't had problems keeping ONE fish alive for more than a month. It is keeping two or more alive at a time that we have found to be a little tricky. So as long as we don't have twins we should be ok...