When I reminisce about Christmas, many fond memories come to mind, such as playing “Deck the Halls” on my trombone to wake everyone up one Christmas morning. Or endlessly listening to the Star Wars Christmas Album, which features such classic couplets as “Everyone will have a cookie, I bought extra for the Wookiee!" or “I cannot believe the question, it's like ‘what is indigestion?’”Most of all, I remember our relentless quest to discover what we were getting before Christmas came. My brother Rob and I employed all sorts of methods and techniques, with varying success. The most common method was, of course, carefully opening and then re-taping presents. We had it down to a science, matching up the new tape perfectly with the tape that had been cut. No doubt this was a big reason for Mom’s continued implementation of her elaborate Christmas present tag numbering system (she wouldn't put tags on the presents until Christmas Eve).
This may have slowed us down, but it did not stop us. It simply necessitated a revised strategy. Instead of being able to open presents that we knew were ours, we were forced to find presents that looked like they were about the same shape as things that we had asked for. This strategy produced mixed results at best. Imagine my disappointment upon hoping to catch a glimpse of that ever-elusive Double Dragon™ hand-held video game, and instead pulling out a hairbrush. Parents 1, Kids 0.Another favorite present-discovering pastime was finding Mom’s hidden stash of presents. When we moved to Centerville, we quickly deduced that the office supply closet was her secret hiding place (The closet, which was always unlocked, was suddenly locked during the holidays). We went to great lengths get in this closet. For our initial attempt, I suggested that Rob ask for Mother’s fingernail clippers, which just happened to be on her key ring. The operation was going smoothly as Rob was handed the keys, but as he was leaving the room he started to laugh. Mom quickly took the keys back and Rob received the clippers without the keys. Soon after, the closet key was removed from the key ring and put it in a more secure location. Several other attempts were made including trying to get into the closet from the outside window (even though it was raining that day), and every stray key that we found lying around the house was tried on that closet door, but we never did get in. Parents 2, Kids 0.
Truly our finest hour was one chilly December evening when our parents informed us they would be “going to the store” for a little while. Well, we had been around the block a time or two and we knew this kind of vague statement could mean only one thing: Christmas shopping. We waited patiently for them to return and we made our move. We got the car keys, and went out the back door so as not to be spotted. We snuck around the side of the house to the driveway and crouched behind the old Camry. We quietly popped open the trunk of the car. At long last, success! There before our eyes was the electric racetrack that we had so desperately coveted. Parents 2, Kids 1.
But wait, they didn't get the racetrack with loops, that could go up walls, and glowed in the dark! Parents 3, Kids 1. Game over.
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