The Five Stages of a Hot-N-Ready Pizza

1. Fresh from the heat lamp
You'd better step on it. Your $5 is living on borrowed time.

2. Still warm
Don't think. Get out of the car. Go straight to the kitchen. Hork down three slices before you can even say "dinner's ready."

3. Lukewarm
But why must you eat so fast? Well, there is an unspecified temperature barrier that, when crossed, makes the Hot-N-Ready go from "eh, not bad" to downright inedible.

4. Cold
Inexplicably, the Hot-N-Ready regains a certain "I hate myself for eating this, but this kinda reminds me of college" quality when chilled.

5. Reheated
You fool! Once you attempt to reheat the Hot-N-Ready, it crosses over into treacherous gastronomic territory that even drunken hobos fear to tread. You should have just eaten it cold.


Jess said...

well said dave, well said.

robmba said...

I have to admit I'm intrigued by assortment the Hot-N-Ready wings.