7.15.2009

Ten Things...

...I Have Learned From '90s Movies

As I have reiterated many times on this blog, I am a child of the '80s. However, it was the '90s where I really came of age. As such, it is time I gave this less flashy, but equally memorable decade its due.

10. There is always room to catch a droplet of cascading forehead sweat in your palm—no matter how close your face was to the floor to begin with. (Mission: Impossible)




9. "Stupid is as stupid does." Wait, what does that even mean? (Forrest Gump)

8. Want to undermine period authenticity? Try recruiting Kevin "I'm not even going to attempt an accent" Costner to be your star, and Bryan "technically I was only 9 in the summer of '69" Adams to pen a sappy love theme. (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves)

7. People with prosthetic limbs are inherently evil. (The Fugitive)

6. I don't care how many other movies he has been in, Christopher McDonald is Shooter McGavin. (Happy Gilmore)





5. Though it is questionable in the first place to name an original composition after a hot female student who happens to be amorously infatuated with you, under no circumstances should you then leave it out where your wife will see it. (Mr. Holland's Opus)

4. Your storm chasing team drives matching black vans? Sorry, but you're only in it for the money, not the science. (Twister)





3. "Life finds a way." (Jurassic Park)

2. It's not that Tom Cruise can't handle the truth, it's that we can't handle the truth about Tom Cruise. (A Few Good Men)





1. There is no crisis a computer can't be the cause of, or the solution to. (Too many to list)

6 comments:

Kristina Carter said...

Dave based on your blogging I can make some assumptions,

you love lists especially those that are ten items long

you watch way too many movies

you cook a lot

generally the world around you annoys you

Am I right?

Dave said...

Kristina,

Thanks for your observations. Allow me to elaborate somewhat:

1. A list definitely comes in handy when you have a bunch of partially connected thoughts to share and don't feel like shaping them into something more coherent.

2. I love movies and have watched a lot of them. Whether or not I have seen "way too many" is entirely subjective.

3. I love eating good food and generally enjoy cooking. When you mentioned the other day that Cam doesn't really like food, that was a totally alien concept to me.

4. Kristen and I have a lot of fun pointing out... let's say the "absurdities" of life, pop culture, etc. Sometimes this is done out of annoyance, but often it is done lovingly. So I hope I don't come across as perpetually annoyed.

Jessica said...

ok.. I think the MR. hollands opus one was my favorite. Only music kids would think to reference that movie. . . awesome!

Krissy said...

Dave and I always joke about Mr. Holland's Opus because it's so lame! Sorry if any of you out there are big fans.

I like that Tom Cruise made the list twice. I could probably do a whole "10 Things" list about what I've learned from Tom Cruise movies. Perhaps another day.

"RED LIGHT, GREEN LIGHT!"

Ben said...

I agree, when in doubt, just hack the internets. Which one? ALL OF THEM!

Also, while it is easy to laugh about these movies now, a good majority of these were AWESOME!!! when they came out. I remember thinking Twister was just the greatest thing since sliced bread, and don't get me started on Independence Day.

But Mission Impossible is still cool. "THEY'RE DEAD THEY'RE ALLLLLL DEAD!!!!"

ScottBoomer said...

I find your lists informative and entertaining.