Yard Sale!

Kristen and I participated in our first ever yard sale on Saturday. The following narrative is loosely based on the experience, although I should note that several shoppers were combined into one composite character, and some liberties were taken for dramatic license. Because c'mon, who really carries around a 30 gallon compost bag?

Seller: Good morning.

Shopper: Mornin'. These DVDs are $4 each?

Seller: That's right.

Shopper: Well, a yard sale down the street was selling old Disney movies on VHS for 50 cents.

Seller: Holy crab cakes, that's outrageous.

Shopper: Will you price match?

Seller: Of course not.

Shopper: Very well. How much are these baby clothes?

Seller: $2 for shirts and pants, $3 for complete outfits.

Shopper: That's a little steep. How about I give you $5 and I get to stuff as many clothes as I can into this 30 gallon compost bag?

Seller: We would let you do that for $6.

Shopper: Hmmm, nevermind. So you really think you can get $10 for this rice cooker?

Seller: It seemed like a reasonable price for a perfectly functioning appliance.

Shopper: Well, a yard sale down the street was selling a rice cooker new in the box for $5.

Seller: Did you buy it? By the way, that yard sale down the street sounds amazing.

Shopper: I'm afraid I didn't.

Seller: So you're saying you want this one for $5?

Shopper: Yes, but only as a personal favor to you. Can you break a fifty?

Seller: (Sigh) Look, just take the darn rice cooker.

Shopper: Wow, thanks. You know, that yard sale down the street's got nothing' on you. Hey, can I take this Planet of the Apes DVD too? I just love that Mark Wahlberg.

Seller: I really don't care. All of this crap is going to the D.I. in a few hours anyway.