The Art of Sports Journalism

CITY (AP)—With the crowd at their backs, the [home team] came blazing out of the gates like a well-oiled machine firing on all cylinders. Meanwhile, the [visiting team], looked like they left their 'A' game back in [the city they are from] whilst wandering behind the woodshed for a [final score] whooping.

[Star home player] illuminated the [home team's] winning strategy, "When the [visiting team] looked a little out of synch early, we smelled blood and went for the jugular. We knew we couldn't afford to get lackadaisical, so we just tried to keep on our toes in the bag.

"It was all over but the shouting after [a specific duration of gameplay]," continued [secondary home player], "so we decided to put on a clinic, 'How to Seal Victories.' After all, our fans aren't paying their hard earned money to watch us take a cakewalk in the park."

So what went wrong for the [visiting team]? [Visiting head coach] broke down his team's subpar effort, "I think it's clear that we've gone to the well once too often. We've circled our wagons around [star visiting player] all season, and him having an off night really took the wind out of our sails."

[Secondary visiting player] also lamented, "Instead of playing to win, we played not to lose. But give the [home team] credit. They got us on the ropes and blew the game wide open with a coffin-nailing knock out punch."


Krissy said...

I love it when he wins at the game that he plays.

Cheeseboy said...

HA HA! This was hilarious.