Free C-3PO

When I was 16, I went through a brief phase of Star Wars collecting. I was convinced that buying and preserving these toys in their original packages was a wise investment. At the time, a popular joke in my family was that some day in the distant future, when I was married with kids, I would come home from work to make an awful discovery. My kids would have broken into the display case where my Star Wars collectibles were housed, and ripped them all out of their packages. This would then cause me to grimly state, "Well, there goes your college education."

As it turns out, this scenario was built on a few fundamental fallacies. One being that my eventual spouse and I would want to display these toys somewhere in our house. And another being that said collectibles would actually be valuable someday.

My bedroom wall, circa 1996. The term "nerd alert" springs to mind.

I find it interesting that a lot of people I associated with during this time of my life still think of me as this big toy collector. In all actuality the phase only lasted about a year, and was nearly half my life ago.

Two boxes of unopened toys now reside in the back of our closet (much to Kristen's chagrin). Recently, as Eddie was happily playing with an R2-D2 toy, the thought crossed my mind that he needed a companion C-3PO. Then something more profound dawned on me. There was already a mint condition C-3PO action figure in the closet!

Was I actually considering this? Maybe I had just watched Toy Story 2 a few too many times. To help make up my mind, I looked up C-3PO and several other figures from my collection on eBay. There were dozens of listings ranging from 99 cents to $10, and most had zero bids. My suspicions were confirmed. My toy collection is worth precisely squat.

That clinched it. I squeezed into the back of the closet, found the right box, and dug out C-3PO. As I handed the package over to Eddie he immediately said, "P-P-O! Out?" The significance of this moment was of course lost on him, but not on Kristen. As I tried to slip my fingernail between the plastic bubble and cardboard, she commented, "I never thought I'd see the day."

"P-P-O! Out?"

"Somewhere in that pad of stuffing is a toy who taught me that life's only worth living if you're being loved by a kid. And I traveled all this way to rescue that toy because I believed him." - Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story 2

Time to celebrate, C-3PO. Your "realistic metalized body" is free from its plastic prison.

So what will become of the rest of those Star Wars toys still in the closet? In a way they weren't such a bad investment after all. Now Eddie has birthday and Christmas presents for years to come.